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We have all heard of the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want to be treated.” It’s something that is instilled in us from a young age, and on the surface, it makes perfect sense.
But does it work today, not just at work but also in everyday life?
Let’s look at a scenario many leaders are experiencing today.
Imagine a Baby Boomer managing a new Gen Z employee. The Baby Boomer has built a successful career around a strong work ethic, being direct, staying focused on the goal, and having a “heads down, get it done” mentality. They may believe that hard work means putting in the time, learning through experience, and doing whatever it takes to finish the job.
Now enter the Gen Z employee.
They’re motivated and want to do a great job, but they may approach work very differently. They value flexibility, want to understand the why behind what they are doing, and want to know that their work is making an impact. They’re also comfortable exploring technology and finding tools that can accomplish in minutes what may have traditionally taken hours.
Neither approach is necessarily wrong. They are just different.
But this is where the Golden Rule can get us into trouble.
If the Baby Boomer manages the Gen Z employee exactly the way they would want to be managed, they may think, “Give me the goal, give me a deadline, and let me get to work.” So that’s exactly what they do with their new employee.
Meanwhile, the Gen Z employee may be thinking, “Why are we doing it this way? How does this connect to the bigger picture? Is there a better or more efficient way to accomplish it? And how will I know if I’m doing well?”
Suddenly, the manager thinks the employee needs too much explanation or feedback. The employee thinks the manager isn’t communicating or investing in their development.
Both people can be hardworking. Both can care deeply about the organization. Both can want the exact same outcome and still completely miss each other.
That’s why I believe there is an even better approach to leadership: the Platinum Rule.
Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.
That small change in language can make a huge difference.
It does not mean lowering expectations or changing the standards for every person. It means recognizing that people are motivated differently, communicate differently, learn differently, and respond to leadership differently.
One employee may want you to give them the goal and get out of their way. Another may want regular feedback along the way. One may prefer a face-to-face conversation. Another may communicate better through a quick message. One may see putting in extra hours as dedication, while another may see finding a technology that gets the same result in half the time as innovation.
Great leadership isn’t about making everyone work like you. It’s about learning what helps each person do their best work.
The Platinum Rule Goes Beyond Our Team
For those of us in hospitality, this concept becomes even more important because the Platinum Rule should not stop with how we lead our team members. It should extend to how we serve our guests.
Think about the variety of guests who walk through our doors every day. One guest may want to be greeted by name, have a conversation at the front desk, and ask for recommendations for where to eat. Another may want to check in on their phone, receive a text when their room is ready, use a digital key, and never visit the front desk at all.
Which guest received better service?
Potentially, both.
Great hospitality is not necessarily about giving every guest the exact same experience. It’s about recognizing what a great experience looks like to that guest.
Sometimes we get so focused on what we believe great service should look like that we forget to ask what the person standing in front of us actually wants.
Technology makes this especially interesting. In hospitality, we sometimes worry that technology will take away the personal touch that makes our industry special. But what if we looked at it differently? For some guests, convenience is great service. A quick text, mobile check-in, or an immediate digital answer may be exactly what they want. For another guest, nothing replaces a warm smile and a conversation with a team member who genuinely wants to help.
The goal is not to choose between technology and personal service. It’s knowing when our guest wants one, the other, or a little bit of both.
And that brings us right back to the Platinum Rule.
Whether we’re leading a team member or welcoming a guest, we have to be willing to look beyond our own preferences. We have to listen, pay attention, ask questions, and recognize that what makes me feel valued may not be what makes you feel valued.
But really, why should the Platinum Rule stop at work?
Think about how often this same idea shows up in our everyday lives, with our families, our friendships, our spouses, our children, and even the people we encounter for only a few minutes during the day. We naturally tend to communicate, show appreciation, solve problems, and even offer help in the way we would want someone to do those things for us.
But the people around us are not us.
Someone may need time to think when we want to talk something through immediately. Someone may value a phone call when we would rather send a text. Someone may feel appreciated through recognition and encouragement, while someone else would rather receive a quiet thank-you. Even with the best intentions, treating someone exactly how we want to be treated isn’t always the same as making them feel valued.
That’s what makes the Platinum Rule so simple yet so powerful: it requires us to get curious about other people.
Instead of assuming we know what someone needs, we listen. We ask. We pay attention. We meet people where they are.
Perhaps that is one of the greatest opportunities we have, not only in today’s multigenerational workplace or in hospitality, but in life.
Instead of asking, “Why don’t they work the way I do?” we can ask, “What can I learn about how they work best?”
Instead of assuming, “This is how I would want to be treated as a guest,” we can ask, “What would make this experience great for this guest?”
And maybe in our everyday lives, we simply ask ourselves, “Am I treating this person the way I would want to be treated, or the way they want to be treated?”
Because at the end of the day, whether we are talking about leadership, hospitality, relationships, or everyday interactions, it all comes back to people.
And people aren’t one-size-fits-all.
Want to learn how Brittain Resorts & Hotels creates experiences that turn guests into lifelong advocates? Connect with us to explore our guest-centric management approach.